the woman a man loves, addressed as his own companion and friend.
This word is the feminine form of the everyday Hebrew word for a friend, a neighbour, the person you are connected to (רֵעַ). Attach "my" to it and address it to a woman, and you have what the man in the Song of Songs calls the woman he loves: my companion, my friend. The affection is obvious, but the note it strikes is a shared life rather than beauty or desire.
It turns up nine times, all of them in the Song of Songs, all of them spoken by the man, and always with "my" attached. He uses it to open his praise of her (Song of Songs 1:9), to call her out into the spring (2:10 and 2:13), and to finish off the long poem on her beauty (4:7). In 5:2 it stands in the middle of a string of names he calls through her door: my sister, my companion, my dove, my perfect one.
Set beside those other names, what this one adds stands out:
- "beautiful" (יָפֶה) praises how she looks,
- "my dove" (יוֹנָה) speaks of her tenderness,
- "my perfect one" (תָּם) of her flawlessness,
- "my sister" (אָחוֹת) and "my bride" (כַּלָּה) borrow the closeness of family and marriage,
- and this word names her as the one whose life he shares.
She never says it back to him. Her own name for him is "my beloved" (דּוֹד), which she uses more than twenty times, and only once, at the close of her longest praise of him, does she reach for the masculine form of this friendship word and say that he is her friend as well as her beloved (5:16). How much weight that single line can carry, and whether calling her his companion says anything about the two of them standing as equals, is argued over to this day.
Disputed
Whether calling the woman his companion asserts that she is the man's equal, or is simply the conventional vocabulary of ancient love poetry.
- contestedTaken at face value the word names the woman as the man's counterpart and equal, and the exchange of endearments across the Song is a deliberate portrait of reciprocal love.; Phyllis Trible, God and the Rhetoric of Sexuality (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1978), ch. 5; Ariel Bloch and Chana Bloch, The Song of Songs: A New Translation (New York: Random House, 1995), 3-15, 144; J. Cheryl Exum, Song of Songs: A Commentary, OTL (Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 2005), 81ff.; Gianni Barbiero, Song of Songs: A Close Reading, VTSup 144 (Leiden: Brill, 2011)
- contestedIt is a conventional term of endearment in the international love poetry of the period, comparable to the way Egyptian love songs address the beloved as "sister", so any claim about equality has to be argued on other grounds.; Michael V. Fox, The Song of Songs and the Ancient Egyptian Love Songs (Madison: University of Wisconsin Press, 1985), 8-13, esp. chs. 1-2; Marvin H. Pope, Song of Songs, Anchor Bible 7C (Garden City: Doubleday, 1977), introduction on comparative materials; Duane Garrett, Song of Songs, Word Biblical Commentary 23B (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004); Richard S. Hess, Song of Songs, Baker Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 2005), at Song 2:10