tenderly affectionate in the way family are: showing the warm, unforced love that runs between parents and children, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters
Greek had a word for the affection that comes with blood, the tenderness between parents and children, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters. That noun was "storge," and this word is built on it: it describes a person who is full of that kind of warmth. Ordinary Greek writers used it exactly where you would expect. Xenophon says the boy Cyrus was affectionate by nature; Aristotle uses it of horses toward their foals; Plutarch reaches for it again and again when he writes about parents grieving a lost child. Greek gravestones are full of it, carved for a beloved wife, a doting husband, a tender parent.
Paul uses it once, in Romans 12:10, and the choice is startling. He is writing to a mixed community of Jews and Gentiles in Rome who share no family bond at all, and he tells them to feel this toward one another. He stacks family words as he does it: first brotherly love (φιλαδελφία), then this word to say what that love should feel like, and three verses later love of strangers (φιλοξενία). The passage is wrapped in the language of kin, then stretched to take in people who are not kin.
The command has a dark mirror earlier in the same letter. The negative form of this word (ἄστοργος) shows up twice in the New Testament, and both times it marks a society coming apart, one where people no longer feel even for their own families (Romans 1:31; 2 Timothy 3:3). What Paul names there as a symptom of ruin he prescribes here as the cure.
Two things about the word are easy to lose:
- It is not a softer or shallower love than the wide, self-giving love the New Testament calls ἀγάπη. It names a different flavor of love, family warmth rather than reach.
- In Paul's world this affection was praised as a virtue, not merely a feeling. People who had it were expected to show it in real generosity, in wills and gifts and care for the household. So the instruction asks for warmth that does something.