to disown: to state publicly that you have nothing to do with a person, whether someone else or yourself
This word is not mainly about denying that something is true. It is about a relationship. Used of a person, it means announcing out loud that you have no tie to them: I do not know him, he is nothing to me. That is why English versions often prefer "disown" here over the older "deny".
In the Gospels it shows up in only two settings, and they mirror each other. Jesus warns Peter that he will disown him before the rooster crows, and Peter swears he never will. Jesus also tells anyone who wants to follow him to do this very thing to himself first. The follower is to say of his own self what Peter would soon say of Jesus: I have nothing to do with him.
That second use is the one most easily misheard. It is not about going without comforts. It is about giving up the right to run your own life and handing that authority over to Jesus. The words that come next, taking up the cross, keep it from sounding mild.
The ordinary Greek word for saying no, ἀρνέομαι, ranges much wider: turning down a job, rejecting a teaching, denying a fact. This one stays inside the Gospels and stays on people. Its true opposite is ὁμολογέω, to acknowledge someone openly.
Nuances
Disputed
Whether the prefix on this compound verb adds intensity, so that it means to disown utterly, or whether in the Greek of the New Testament it is used with no more force than the simple verb for denying.
- majorityThe compound carries no added force in the New Testament. The two verbs stand in strictly parallel Gospel passages, alternate inside a single sentence at Luke 12:9, and trade places in the manuscript tradition at Luke 9:23 and John 13:38.; Heinrich Schlier, "ἀρνέομαι, ἀπαρνέομαι," in Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, 1:471; Ceslas Spicq, Theological Lexicon of the New Testament, 1:199; James Hope Moulton and George Milligan, The Vocabulary of the Greek Testament, s.v. ἀπαρνέομαι
- minorityThe prefix gives the verb a sense of completion, so the compound means to disown outright. The older lexical tradition reads it this way, and a minority argue that Mark's restriction of the compound to two scenes, and Luke's shift to it in the second half of Luke 12:9, look deliberate.; Joseph Henry Thayer, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament, s.v. ἀπαρνέομαι; Herbert Weir Smyth, Greek Grammar, §1680